Im not sure I have anything useful to say. Saying anything seems pointless.. too jaded to be a voice of positivity and moral boosting and hope, too cynical to comment on anything to do with modern life including the psy-op'd truther community.. heartbroken over too many things.. over too too many things. I don’t need to list those things, only that.. yes God has got me, but no, God is not infallible in this dark world (which is why WE are here, on Gods behalf!) ..and the darkness takes out souls in appalling ways every day. see? I question if my voice is helpful. I don’t want to frighten. I want to scream. The perpetual scream.
Yet I lay down my fear of frightening people, because there is something more important.. to reach those people whom, like me, are in, or have been in, the pepetual scream, too heartbroken.
what courage can I offer? None. I have none. I have seen the darkness take out soul after soul, as it so nearly did mine as well. I am not stronger than those who were taken. I don’t know what I am. I just am.. heartbroken, soul broken.
I knew, with the nth trauma, the kind of healing I needed was not of this world. If I could make it to planetary liberation, then I would recieve this healing. yes yes, it is important to ‘believe’; believe i could piece together my healing with the rags and dust about me, but there is also knowing with a big K, and I knew.. my healing, healing this body, this soul, would likely not happen until liberation brought higher light, and authentic med beds.
I used to trust in my words and my voice, I used to feel God nudging me to express myself, like a patient mother with a child.. yet now.. I have knowledge too dense, and too difficult, all niavety gone.
I have absolutely no interest in anyones opinion on my words.. those utterly limiting things I wish I did not have to use words at all, for they limit truth and feeling so terribly.. Other peoples opinions, judgements, fixing hold no interest to me.. just sit with me, and see if you can feel who and what I am, and what I might actually be saying, and I promise to do the same for you - sit with your loudly silent response.. may I hear your own pepetual scream, your heartache, your most bitter grief. Let us sit with one another, and offer up all our so-human, and so-divine grief to the Goddess, whose sweet embrace can hold it all, and more. If the darkness touched on their own grief for a nano-second.. well. game over.
For those of you reading this who find some value in my words, well.. you will not be the ones to jump to heady words anyway, and we shall sit and know one another, in this horror, and in our knowing of one another, we bring God here - to this horror - God unafraid and carrying us home.
With what is left of my soul after almost being anihilated by the darkness, I join fellow light warriors in dismantling the darkness in the spiritual realms, (what such brutal initiations prepared me for) ..for who can stay on a planet for one moment having FELT the torture the children go through, (please keep your emotional bodies safe from such entanglement) ..without spontaneously combusting, or the soul ejecting itself, or doing the unthinkable and trying to make staying here berable by picking up sword and shield and banshee cry in their name? It is dangerous work.
Today I strived for more sanity, grew sick of feeling depressed at the state of the sky, and decided to no longer hate the sun blockers. Its not easy. With the effects of so much physical and emotional trauma I wade through every day, trying to desperately stay sane with it all, the last thing I need is for some cretin of a vampire to block out the one fucking thing that might make me feel bearably better - the sun. feeling better means showing up for my missions - feeling better means getting this shitshow ended, once and for all.
When you have felt levels of darkness beyond comprehension - the spiritual equivalent of stepping in a nuclear blast - and trying to recover yourself in a self-made intensive care.. on top of the long list of psyche-destroying traumas of being on an occupied dark planet, it is not easy to accept the removal of the suns rays from your wounded, painful existence. The pepetual scream demands a cry of ‘I CANNOT TAKE THIS AS WELL!!’.
Sigh. And yet. Trying to cradle this painful, wounded self in the arms of the higher; wanting, needing, to get to higher ground, and not through dismissing, pretending, denying but in a sustainable, real way.. I manage to accept, for a day, that those non-humans in human suits orchestrating the blocking out the sun - are terrified. They are panicking, and terrified, and desperate, for the sun, in all her magnificent spiritual, physical, metamorphical existence, channelling ever higher light frequencies to earth - is indeed here to wipe out these false non-human psychopaths. I would be terrified to. I would be pouring my money and best psy-ops into blocking out the 'threat'.
I AM
the sun that lays waste to all evil,
I am the eternal infinite sun,
the eternal life,
all warmth and comfort and divinity
pours from within ME!!
So, to those feeble, dark, terrified ones - who are not unlike the painful festering wounds in my own soul i must remember - I do not envy your path.. the amount of darkness in my own path, leading to where I am, was so very much more than enough to bear. You, psychopaths, endured more than your soul could bear, and then the deeper contortions began, the complete inversion of self, the complete separation from source. You are monsters, in need of taking out with a tranquiliser gun from a helicopter, to be put out of your misery. Which is of course, what Source intends to do, and is doing.. with the etheric version of a tranquiliser gun from a helicopter.
The art is in holding to account these monsters for all the heinous crimes against God/life/self/everything, with appropriate divine rage, AND not confuse divine rage with self-harming bitterness and resentment. Divine rage is armour for Gods work, bitterness and resentment is armour against ones own healing, to be removed - gently - when ready.
I send love.. to the sun blockers and poison spreaders, all those psychopaths, human and non, running the dark matrix.. I send you love. I do not care if you wish to be sent love, or deserve it.. I send you love. Not from some spiritual bypass place.. I know what you are.. beings who would rip me to shreds given the chance, and oh how you tried.. who would torture me for eons just to convince me torture was eternal and to finally break my spirit so to mirror your own and make me a servant of the dark.. so I do not send love lightly, I do not send love naively, and I do not send love unsafely..
I send love because I remember your souls as wee ones, at the beginning of time, before the anomaly, before the utterly tragic, appalling, unnecessary, wasteful, hateful infintestimal moment that the experiment of life went astray and all this.. ALL THIS.. evil came into miscreation.
I send love because it is the only answer
I send love because it is love that rips through your being and holds you aloft, like a punch to the withered remains of your heart, it is love that ignores your screams of ‘pain’ and protest, for you believe so strongly light is painful to you it has become so.. I send love because love is what ENDS THIS.
No more tortured little ones. No more tortured dark souls running this planet. No more inverted life. No more suffering.
It was never meant to be this way.
yes the dark have programmed us with all kinds of beliefs.. so we would believe in suffering! ..believe suffering is required, believe it is needed, and so miscreate it lifetime after lifetime. I have no time for anyone who propegates such lies anymore. Enough. Anyone who believes suffering is necessary has NOT suffered.. not in the biblical sense of the word suffering, not in the ‘met a hornets nest of demons slicing up babies souls’ sense of the word suffering.
The great mistake is over.
Pepetual scream, let me unburden my pain, return to usefulness, take my place as a soldier of light, not a wounded one in the field hospital tent, little able to do more than throw a few sparks of light through the tent opening and cheer on my comrades, and hope my anger and wounds do not slow them down.. I want my soul intact, my mission clear, and to witness.. to WITNESS.. Gaia restored to her magnificence! To know.. no soul, ever ever again, shall know suffering.
Pixabay Image Credits:
woman warrior - icsilviu
Sun - Jill Wellington
Dove - Geralt
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